Moving on

Well currently moving on with Love and with Drinking.

It has been 4 to 5 days at least know since my last alcoholic drink and about that again since I have been drunk, looks like the lord is helping me over come this problem. I actually went to the Uni bar today and did not buy any thing. OK not that bigger deal, done that several times before, however latterly with my drinking habits have been a bit of an issue so it is a step in the right direction, and one of the first times I have brought nothing when I have not had to drive any were latter. My aim is not to drink any thing till Easter then afterwards review the amount I drink.

The drinking actually began during the christmas holidays catching up with mates ect. once or 2 I acidentaly drank to much and got drunk, once or twice I figured what the just this once I can drink more then what the bible says is ok with these mates, did not really have a huge proublem, apart from the Sin well by that I mean I did not have a need for alcahole. This contunied during o-week then slowly as things bagan looking more gloomy I began drinking to get drunk thats when I had the real proublem. As I was drinking to drawn my thoughts drinking not for social reasens but to get drunk effectivly drinking to sin.

Part of the reasen was lady proublems still know I am moving on and getting over the young lady I liked as well, or I may even be 100% over her not 100% sure I mean I still love this person but just as any other brother and sister in Christ (in other words care heaps about her). This raises the problem of failing for other women, and how can stop this from happening because for various reasons I am to much of a mess at the moment to enter some of relationship, and same goes with being not back, and also to much of a mess to be wondering about what may happen between me and some other women. So moving on is great specially if I does not mean completely fall for another women 4 awhile. I mean their is still one or two crushes I have had forever but some different women have allso caught my eye but thats a different matter.

So why does love hurt me so much u may ask well you see love hurts because I have only ever none one girl to like me and she was my sister friend (2 or more years younger then me), she was suicidal at the time, weighed 3 times my body weight, had nothing in common, she liked the normal high school sort of things, I liked following politics act… I was a christian she was not, I am not saying I was to good for her because she was kind hearted but it would have never worked. Any way she died last year I think of a heart attack so yeah that explains why love hurts so much. Ow and one girl rang me as a prank once that’s about all though. While 7 girls have searously broken my heart and a few others have to a lesser extent. You have heard of sweet 16 and never been kissed well I am nearly 21 and never been kissed and never been out on a date asides from by family members when I was young and once or 2 in primary school if you count them from playing playing kiss and catch chassings.

Still ever time I fall for some one new I think maybe this time it will be different but then I get my heart riped out again. So yeah thats why I get down after a while when I fall for a women. I hope all of this does not start me drinking again as moving on makes me think about all this stuff. GOD please help me be strong